Well that was flipping frightening. In the end it was best to do it like a band-aid a la the advice of Jerry Seinfeld “One move! Right Off!. It was that or dither about for another week, fiddle faddling with verbs, tenses, synonyms and the like.
Let’s go back a few steps. 2017 was the first year in more than I would care to imagine that my job has not involved writing of some form or other. There’s been everything from a thesis to copy for a 30 second radio ad and all forms in-between. But last year…nothing….unless you count report card comments, which I don’t. And strangely, I felt dulled by about October and I couldn’t work out why. It took some time and reflection and chattering with another thought terrainer about the entire kit and caboodle as to what the heckfire might be happening. Ding dong! No writing in life ya big doofus. (that’s me. the big doofus).
I had also arrived at an interesting point where I was feeling the need for something that I would make, create and put out into the world without fear or favour AND in the process try to not worry about other people think. If you know me well you’ll know worrying about what people think of me is one of my special powers. I have it down to a fine art. I’m an expert. I guess now if you don’t know me well you’ll know this too now. #confessions
So it seemed time, and timely (given I had 6 or so weeks of the school holidays that they give to good for nothing school teachers like myself) that I give this all some thought, throw it in a saucepan, stir it about and see what came out. What came out were all sorts of things some of which I may eventually do. I thought BIG! which was great and exciting….and then I lay on the brown lounge for a few weeks and thought about time management and changed a few things. For one, I thought I was going to make every edition Winifred Bell Tiny Writing by hand, and send individual copies out in the post. Romanticised much? Yes. Would I still like to do this? Yes. Is 2018 the year that will happen. Sadly no. Because reality.
What I did manage to do was take some inspiration from my ordinary days and my memories about summer, write two poems and three pieces of prose, find a free flip book maker, use canva to make my pages including a front and back cover and get it online. I set up a FB group. I have just now with much trepidation sent it out into the ether on the social media. That’s actually a little achievement for me. Especially the last part of sending it out into the world. Because instead of being the endless armchair critic I have publicly put my feet in the creative waters (that’s a little bit Kath and Kim eh!) and said, “me too”.
I also committed to doing it 9 more times this year. It was frightening and scary but I did it anyway.